September 13, 2008

The ultimate list of coca cola use. You wont believe it!

I haven’t had a chance to test all of these out, but the ones I have listed here are the uses I found turning up time and again; not just on the web, but in books and magazines. If you have any more, feel free to share. And by the way, I’m no Coca-Cola advocate, I’m sure Pepsi or even store-brand would work just as well (unless that secret Coke ingredient is behind all of this…but I doubt it). It's quite tastefull to me!

The list
1. Remove grease stains from clothing and fabric
2. Remove rust; methods include using fabric dipped in Coke, a sponge or even aluminium foil.
3. Remove blood stains from clothing and fabric.
4. Make gooey Coke funnel cakes .
5. Clean oil stains from a garage floor; let the stain soak, hose off.
6. Loosen a rusty bolt; pour on some Coke and wait for the magic to happen.
7. Kill slugs and snails; a small bowl of Coke will attract them, the acid will kill them.
8. Help a lawn become lush and gree.
9. Prevent an asthma attack! Apparently, the caffeine in two 12oz cans can prevent the onset of an attack.
10. Defrost a frozen windshield. Apply liberally and wait.
11. Clean burnt pans; let the pan soak in the Coke, then rinse.
12. Descale a kettle using the same method in 11.
13. Neutralize a jellyfish sting.
14. Clean car battery terminals by pouring a small amount of Coke over each one.
15. Cure nausea; let a can of Coke go flat then take a teaspoon of Coke every hour.
16. Also, flat coke can help relieve an upset stomach (aka “the runs”)
17. Make a Mentos & Coke exploding fountain. This one takes a 2-liter bottle of Coke.
18. Get rid of hiccups; gargle with a big mouthful of ice-cold Coke.
19. Shake up a can and pour it over your windshield to remove bugs and other crud.
20. Use the method in 19 for your car bumpers, too.
21. Clean your engine; Coke distributors have been using this technique for decades.
22. Relieve congestion; boil and a can of Coke and drink while hot to clear you up.
23. Make a sweet BBQ sauce. Mix a can of Coke with ketchup and brush over ribs or chicken.
24. Baste a ham roast with Coke as it cooks. The sugars will caramelize; the ham will be moist.
25. Add a can of coke to your pot roast to tenderize it and add extra flavour.
26. Make pretty pennies; soaking old pennies in Coke will remove the tarnish.
27. Make your hair curly; pour flat Coke onto long hair, leave for a few minutes then rinse.
28. Age documents and photos; for that antique look, apply Coke, pat with paper, leave to dry.
29. Clean tile grout; pour onto kitchen floor, leave for a few minutes, wipe up.
30. Mix a can of Coke with a packet of Italian seasoning; cook a tough steak in it.
31. Make better compost; Coke increases the acidity, adds sugars and feeds microorganisms.
32. Dissolve a tooth in it; Use a sealed container, this takes ages. Why would you want to though, unless you’re Hannibal Lecter?
33. Remove gum from hair; dip into a small bowl of Coke, leave a few minutes. Gum will wipe off.
34. Get silky skin; mix a spoonful of Coke with regular lotion and apply liberally.
35. Make low-fat brownies .
36. Pour a little in a cup and set it out an hour before a picnic, away from your site; it will attract wasps and bees so they’re not bugging you and your grub.
37. Remove stains from vitreous china. More info on vitreous materials here .
38. Got a dirty pool? Add two 2-liter bottles of Coke to clear up the water (it acts as rust remover).
39. Add Coke to your laundry to remove bad smells, especially fish.
40. Remove (or fade) dye from hair by pouring diet Coke over it.
41. Mop a floor with Coke to make it sticky. It’s a movie industry trick to stop actors slipping.
42. Remove marker stains from carpet. Apply Coke, scrub, then clean with soapy water.
43. Clean a toilet; pour around bowl, leave for a while, flush clean.
44. Apply to skin for a deep tan (although this seems like a recipe for skin cancer to me).
45. Supposedly, drinking an 8oz can of Coke every day can prevent kidney stones.
46. Add it to a Sloppy Joe mix
47. Perk up your Azaleas or Gardenias.
48. Coke and aluminium foil will bring Chrome to a high shine.
49. Strip paint off metal furniture; soak a towel in Coke, sit it on the surface for days. Make sure you keep adding Coke to keep the towel wet. (Seems like a hassle, I’d rather buy paint stripper.)
50. Add it to vodka, rum or bourbon.
51. Drink it straight from the can, if you can

And a few Coke fallacies:

  • Coke is not used by the authorities to clean blood from the roads after accidents.
  • Coke will not dissolve teeth or nails OVERNIGHT. It takes a long time.
  • Coke and aspirin will not get you high.
  • Coke is not an effective spermicide.
  • Coke poured onto raw pork will not cause worms to come crawling out of it.
  • The acids in Coke do not make it dangerous to drink (your own stomach acids are much stronger).
  • Drinking too much Coke will not make you die from CO2 poisoning.
  • Coke does not contain cocaine (although it used to).
  • Coke did not become carbonated by accident.

So, that’s what my days of research turned up (yes, days. Anyone who tells me to get a life will be justified). If you have anything to add, pour away folks.

2 comments:

dan said...

are you really 14? cool blog

http://www.rushprnews.com/2008/09/27/the-coke-vs-pepsi-birth-control-wars/

The Coke vs. Pepsi Birth Control Wars
September 27, 2008
Two molding academic papers on the ’spermicidal potency’ of Coke and Pepsi have been uncovered

by Dan Bloom

ATLANTA,GA(RUSHPRNEWS)09/27/2008 – A set of 20-year-old research papers by warring academics fighting over the spermicidal powers of Coke and Pepsi has recently been uncovered and threatens to make waves again amidst today’s current downturn in the global economy.

That’s right, a paper in the Journal of Human Toxicology titled “The Spermicidal Potency of Coca-Cola and Pepsi-Cola” and an earlier paper in the New England Journal of Medicine in Boston have resurfaced after years of archival neglect.

One teams used a “trans-membrane migration method” to study the effect of Coke on sperm, while the other team of academics used alternative methods to study how Pepsi figures into the same equation.

One team, in fact, discovered that Coca-Cola as an effective spermicide, while the other team disapproved that assertion.

Fortunately, your tax monies were not used to fund this research, and there were no earmarks attached to any Congressional legislation at the time referring to such silliness.

In a published abstract of the second team’s 1987 paper, the intrepid researchers noted: “The inhibitory effect of Old Coke, caffeine-free New Coke, New Coke, Diet Coke and Pepsi-Cola on human sperm motility was studied using a trans-membrane migration method. None of them could decrease sperm motility to less than 70 percent of control within one hour.”

The opposing paper also noted: “A previous study published in the New England Journal of Medicine which claimed a marked variation of spermicidal potency among different formulations of Coca-Cola could not be confirmed. Even if cola has a spermicidal effect, its potency is relatively weak as compared with other well-known spermicidal agents.”

And the paper, unaware that it would unearthed 20 years later and applauded in high places of academic tomfoolery, concluded: “Testing of various cola formulas on sperm motility using a trans-membrane procedure did not decrease motility to less than 70 percent control in a one-hour period. Diet Coca-Cola had the strongest spermicidal effect followed by Classic Coca-Cola, Caffeine-free Coca-Cola and New Coca-Cola. Since there are no known substances in cola that effect cellular membranes, the results of these tests were not unusual.”

A final note asserted: ” Other tests have been done using higher dilution of cola which could effect sperm motility and give different results for spermicidal potency. The results show that cola has little if any spermicidal effect. Its use in post coital douching is ineffective and could cause complications such as infection.”

Now you might be wondering what the fuss is all about and how these two warring academic papers were unearthed in the bowels of dusty old archival buildings in the nation’s capital, and I cannot tell you today.

But stay tuned to RUSHPRNEWS this week, because on Thursday the truth will out, and there will no holding back the naked applause.

Suffice it to say that the spermicidal tendencies of Coke and Pepsi, in all their flavorful variations, will soon make headlines around the world and cause mirth in many places of higher learning worldwide.

Want to know more of the penetrating details? Contact this reporter before the end of this week, in strictest confidence, of course. Or post your comment right here, and battle it out in the open.

——
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dan Bloom is a science columnist for RUSHPRNEWS. Although he flunked his science requirement at Tufts University in the 1960s due to a total lack of concentration, he was allowed to graduate due to the kindness of strangers.

To contact the author about this important news scoop before it leaks out to the mainstream media, email him at: danbloom@rushprnews.com

яex .☆☆☆. said...

Cool article man.
thanks.